Life NOT According to Plan
Updated: Jan 27
Raise your hand if your life at some point has not gone according to your plan.
If that’s you, I can so relate! Reaching both my hands way up in the sky, saying “Me too! Me too!” We all have our own stories, and I’d like to share how mine fell off the tracks and what it all really meant for me.
I was the proverbial good girl. Senior class president, salutatorian and varsity cheerleader in high school. I didn’t drink, smoke, or do drugs and worked 2 jobs through college.
“Get good grades in high school so you can go to a good college so you can good job” is what was drilled into me. I did that. I even had a job at an accounting firm lined up 6 months before graduation. Then the plan was to climb the corporate ladder in my 20s, travel, see the world, get financially stable. Settle down with a spouse and have kids in my 30s. That was the plan.
Until 3 weeks after college graduation, when I found out I was pregnant. Three weeks. My plan lasted for 3 whole weeks.
Over the course of the next 20 years:
· I was married and divorced not once, but twice by the time I was 35 (the first was my choice, the second was by his choice).
· I had three children from 2 different fathers.
· I spent 16 years in court with my first ex-husband as he is a narcissistic sociopath (I didn’t even know there was a name for such people until I was in my 30s!).
· I found myself dating a ridiculous amount in my late 30s, not willing to risk my heart or settle.
· Doing intense personal development work in my early 40s.
Not in the plan. None of it!
All the while, while it seemed my personal life was a hot mess, I stuck to my plan when it came to my career. I climbed that corporate ladder and became a CFO. And once I got there, I finally acknowledged that Finance wasn’t what I wanted to do (umm, by actually walking out of what seemed to be my dream job!). I didn't know what was going on at the time, but later learned that Finance was never my dream; I simply trusted others knew better for me than I knew for myself (which was a pattern I lived in for almost my whole life).
I didn’t know what I wanted to do or be, or what was even possible for me, so I hired a coach and that’s when it ALL changed. I hired her to help me figure out my next career move. I never expected that by working with her, I’d end up changing my life, and in the most incredible ways!
Working with her:
· Helped me gain clarity of what I wanted my life to look like…for me, not for what others thought it should look like for me.
· She made me aware of my power to CHOOSE!
· She helped me identify and move the things in my head and my heart that were getting in the way of me having the life I wanted (old stories, limiting beliefs, how things have gone in the past etc).
· And many, many more things
I learned I was stuck in a victim mentality of "should's", "have to's", and obligations and expectations for a very long time, and while it took some effort, I now believe in and use my personal power to create a life that I love full of choice, "get to's" and fulfilled desires.
Since then, I’ve created an amazing relationship full of unconditional love and support. Together, we bought a home and blended our families. I’ve done lots and lots of personal development, which has helped me understand who I REALLY am, and helped me to identify and dissect the lessons I’ve learned in my life,
I wouldn’t have been able to create this relationship with Austin, this life, had I not invested in my coach.
This is what I learned: My original plan sucked. It was boring and predictable and safe.
This is what else I’ve learned: While living without a plan can be scary, it can also be powerful, fun and freeing. I have learned SO much about the world and about myself through this journey. Heck, I've even learned how to do some electrical and plumbing maintenance around my home! The difference is in how you show up for yourself and your life!
This is what I’ve also learned: What seems to be coal in the moment has the potential to become diamonds over time.
All that seemingly hot mess of a personal life (coals) actually has become a priceless gift (diamonds). It’s a gift because I’ve experienced so much and have learned so much about relationships.
· I’ve learned relationships are challenging and there is no one right way to do them.
· I’ve learned that I don’t need to be in one, so that if I am in one, it better be a great one!
· I’ve learned they are worth it when we take responsibility for it.
· While not all relationships are meant to last, I’ve also learned ways to do all that we can do to make it work and then how to gain clarity when it’s time to move on.
The other big giant diamond that I received is the opportunity to take all that I’ve learned of relationships and coaching and be able to create a career as a relationship and intimacy coach.
I love that I get to help others create a relationship that they love….in the relationship that they are currently in!
My joy in working with you is that I can help you create your own diamonds with way less coal, way less time, and that they will be of the highest quality.
Is this your coal? You are in a long- term relationship and feeling any or all of these: lonely, frustrated, bored, resentful, disconnected, lacking passion and excitement (in and/or out of the bedroom?)
The Diamonds: Normalizing your experience, getting clarity on what you want and need in your relationship, busting out of the “it’s fine” rut, how to communicate with your partner, how to take responsibility in your relationship to get your wants and needs met, both in and out of the bedroom, all so that you are creating a relationship YOU love…For the Love of YOU!
Bonus: This also leads to creating a LIFE that you love!
Curious about any of this? Interested in learning how we might work together? Want to learn more?
You can reach out to me directly and personally at: firstname.lastname@example.org
You can also join one of my Facebook groups (one for men and one for women)
Level Up Your Relationship – for Women who want MORE in their Relationship: https://www.facebook.com/groups/levelupyourrelationship.women
Level Up Your Relationship – for Men who want MORE in their Relationship: